Top Ten Reasons Why Obama Will Win The Presidency

[D'Average Man]

10) A large group of progressive racists in this country have been working on a plan to assassinate the first black president of this country for a long time now, and they are anxious to see if it works

9) Spielberg already has the movie rights; Terrance Howard is slated for the lead role; scheduled for a release in '16

8) McCain is already 70, and he's in the first stage of BDD: Bob Dole Disease. He will have the permanent kung-fu grip with a pen in that right hand in no time

7) Housekeeping has already installed Yadibox Internet Radio in the Oval Office

6) "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington": James Todd Smith, also known as L.L. Cool J, is predicted to successfully be elected to a congressional seat in the year 2010.

5) Now N' Laters have been added to the refreshment menu during the State of the Union Address

4) Michelle's enrolled in "First Lady 101" class at the Clinton Memorial Library

3) It's been speculated that Obama has already begun the process of writing his inaugural speech, which is supposed to be complete with his own version of "Hail To The Chief", which insiders say sounds like a more mature version of Swizz Beats' "It's Me, Bitches!!"

2) Every limosine and Secret Service SUV in the motorcade is sittin' on 22s.

1) There have been numerous reports of happy shouts and loud, jovial laughter coming from the burial site of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

[Rowdee]

Because Congress hasn't had a good weed connect since Clinton left.

[Rowdee]

The real estate agent, showing the Bushes houses in the Houston area: Bushwick Bill.

[Rowdee]

A standing order of 1000 hot wings on inauguration day from Capital Wings N Things for A. Sharpton and J. Jackson.

[Rowdee]

The inaugural toast will be done using Henny and Hypnotic.

[Rowdee]

The Rose Garden is being replaced with rows of collard greens and yams.

[Rowdee]

Michelle Obama was seen teaching Nancy Pelosi how to "walk it out"

[Rowdee]

Mayor Nutter's lip print being removed from Hilary's ass and placed on Obama's

[Rowdee]

John Edwards lost all hope and started screwing around.

[Rowdee]

The latest interviewee for the new head of the Secret Service: Mr. T.

[Rowdee]

The new press kit for the White House Press Corps: A Dutch, a Pepsi, a bag of Chumpies, a pack of Newports and a bootleg copy of Norbit.

[D'Average Man]

Ladies and gentleman, the top twenty reasons why Obama will win the presidency...LMAO...Good work, inspector

[Rowdee]

Come on, y'all.......this one is almost true!!!

Rowdee said:

The Rose Garden is being replaced with rows of collard greens and yams.